overdue photos:
camwhoring yesterday with janrie!
funny!

today was a tired day but fun! made a new discovery, if you are sad, just force yourself to smile, you will feel much better. and to wanteng, thanks for the hug! love you loads! she wanted to like seduce the cher cause he say our similing had no impact and stuff and she was doing her eyebrow stuff. super funny!

SATURDAY and SUNDAY

woke up at around 630 in the morning. went to bishan for music lesson, its been so long since i actually played my exam pieces! cause i kept focusing on theory exam.bought andrea a kinder joy, the toy was some soccer thingy. slack around at home and did econs homework and little bit of chemistry. felt like super heavy and tired so slept for 2 hours? woke up and chatted with hannah over the phone and went for tuition. tuition was productive, laugh alot and learnt alot of stuff as well. went home but took the wrong line so ended up at yishun and had to alight and take the other side. super dumb of me, i must totally learn how to read signs! reached home at 945 and had dinner. watched tv and did some chores.decided to change to sweats and at around 11+ left home for the cemetery. went to granny house first to collect some stuff and drove off to the cemetry. the journey was fun, we stop at some area then like jeremiah scared me out of nowhere. he was super scary like he hit the window pane really hard then i pratically jump out. had a hard time finding the tomb cause it was like 1+ in the morning and everywhere was freaking dark. found the tomb at last and i was eating supper there. thank god i wore sweats or i think i would have been freezing. was playing with candles the whole time there. super fun. after that went to great aunt tomb and we were all holding torchlight and searching for her tomb. quite fun actually. found it and like granny did all the stuff and after that went to a christian cemetry. it was super foggy and cool there man, there was this run down church and like it was awesome. had a hard time finding the tomb, could not find it in the end and i almost fell as usual. jeremiah car did not manage to start up, so spent a long time there. it was already 5+ in the morning? so like waited in the car. drived home and like finally got to sleep at around 630. never been awake for 24hours before, was not very tiring actually but u will like sleep once you touch your bed. woke up at 12 the next morning and had breakfast/lunch. it was super nice, andrea woke up first, then followed by mummy then me. did chem notes and tutor andrea on math. went to amk to buy a new bag and some supplies. home for dinner. the weekends are like over, but it was enjoyable.

my sunday breakfast/lunch

i feel like i am returning back to my old self

FRIDAY

its officially the weekends people. finally i can sleep in! been having some stomach probs. over these few days. my digestive system is weird. come to think of it, this week i felt loads of emotions. dance was actually very fun like i think i got addicted to smiling in dance, whenever i smile in dance it made me realise that i become happier and like not so stress up. i feel really weird these few days like my life is like a dream, like none of this is real. everytime i reach home i feel like i have woken up from my dream. maybe its me thinking too much.

DANCE

the teacher was super hilarious, he kept making us smile and making us repeat it if we dun smile or exit properly. changed shirt with wanteng cause hers was too big. time really flies like i was playing with her while waiting for our turn, super funny. there was this time a few mins. before dance ended when we got to relax. we had to lie down and so we lay like close to each other. suddenly we turn to each other's direction, i was like super close to her i almost kissed her. burst out laughing like it was super funny to the max., rolled on the ground with her from side to side and like we decided to roll towards mandy and amanda. had a fun time playing with her. love ya gurl! later re-enact some horror movie scenes and it funny! never really felt so happy in dance before, today was simply awesome.

on the ride home:
me and wanteng!

i think that these few days have been like me facing up my fears. like everything i ever feard of is happening but going to stay strong still. like i think i have been less fearful of those stuff by maybe 2%? i know it sounds like super tiny but at least i took the first step. at least i am able to sometimes look at them. =)

WEDNESDAY

OK... i feel like a big clumsy sotong today! on my way home, i fell onto this lady beside me. arh! super embarassing like to the max. . next i miss my stop home so i had to walk a few minutes after dance, super tiring, plus i almost fall again and almost sprain my ankle, need to be more careful in future. dance was actually fun, was smiling away throughout the whole time, very tired from smiling. going to pray for gladys! i was tired today but manage to pay attention, omgosh! super happy about actually understanding econs. today. chem is gonna kill me, but i actually somehow enjoy all these work, keeps me busy. at least i wun have to stone and stare into space everday! saw my greatest fear today... i was pratically in a freeze mode the whole day, like how can the school do this? its scary. learnt that we should always keep our head high to prevent wrinkles and double chin, learnt that from dance but dunno if its true. i feel fat!

my sis broke her arm falling down the stairs at home. this officially prove that you should never get a house with stairs. its freaky. she got like bruises everywhere and a bleeding lip from yesterday. dunno if she can still perform this month, she was actually very sad when i talk about syf. hope god lays a healing hand on her.

smiling is tiring!

loudfest was super freaking awesome. how i wish it didn't end. yesterday's session was DA BOMB! love it to the max. started the day with the worship, not that bad. then was the pastor glyn barrett talking, he is motivational!really learnt alot from his speeches. then after that was lunch if i am not wrong. then was dance workshop, it was super fun even though i couldn't catch up. haha! dinner had chicken rice! then it was night session. that was the best part. got the red loudfest band, super happy. red is sexy. now i have blue and red. wanted to buy the tee but no money... got my tongues( i dunno if i spelled it rightly) awesome awesome AWESOME! got it while kneeling down and praying. then there was the crossing line thingy... felt something like in my heart, like loads of emotions and stuff. i wanna go for missionaries. even though i doubt my parents will allow. its freaking awesome! read this from the bible... super cute.
'Did You not pour me out like milk And curdle me like cheese' Job 10:10

the band on stage... not very clear!

going home alone?
think twice
landed in a place late at night
no cars in sight
only the bus
walking right to the road
its already 1130
try flagging a taxi
nothing came
loneliness overwhelmed me
i feel so alone
i feel so scared
tears streaming down my face
i felt so helpless
what i could do
was just continue trying
when i reach home
all you guys did was scold me
ask me to reflect
not even bother giving me a hug
telling me"its ok, you're home now"
did you know how scary it was
i felt like i could never make it back alive
i felt like i was living a nightmare
everything i hated came true
fear, loneliness,pain
it was so scary
thinking about it
tears just gets into my eyes
i dun want it to happen again
i feel so scarred

THURSDAY

the cheesecake story:

it is thanks to the cheesecake below that caused me to have a tummy ache for 2 days. i think i am down with the stomach flu. totally hate it, ate like 6 pills of carbon in 2 days.
LOUDFEST started today, it was like freaking awesome to the max. there was this band called audacious which performed. it was freaking awesome i was like jumping and jumping. the bad part was that i kept stepping on people and it ended at 11? reached home and got a scolding. i wanna go for the night session on saturday! LOUDFEST music is super awesome i totally love it! there was this outreach thingy today at amk hub, they were like inviting people to their musical on easter day, too bad i couldn't go, i have SYF rehersal! super sad! ate at subway for dinner with hannah and william, telling loads of jokes... it was hilarious!
the cheesecake!