my mind is clustered with so much thoughts. i just really want to see the rainbow soon. sound so emo and morbid these few days, things have been so haywire and like some tangled rope. no matter how i try to be positive i can't. no matter what encouragement or compliments i receive i just can't take them for real. i can't see myself that way, its like after all that happened,doubts appear everytime. everyday feels so lifeless, i feel so trapped. and i don't know what to do.