when I lock myself up in the room, I start to think. why am I like this? cant I be more hardworking? what's wrong with me today? after all these roller coaster rides, I realise that it was all a mistake. every morning I wake up, praying that a miracle would happen today, I wait and wait but nothing comes along, and when it actually happens, it becomes disastrous. why cant I see myself the way people see me? or am I already seeing the ugly side of me people see?